Snitch

Snitch was what the creatures of the Vermin Realm called a ‘problem rat’.  The problem with Snitch was that, unlike most, she didn’t have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other.  She had two devils.  Big ones.

Snitch is a devious little rat.

When you’re only seven inches tall, it’s easy to get a complex.  Snitch doesn’t want to just prove herself to Smurt, Snitch, Mum and Dad – she needs to prove herself to the whole world.  And the only way she can think to do this is by running it.  And let’s face it, she could do as good a job as the current lot.

Snitch has no time for human scum but is willing to put up with their tyranny for the free food (and very occasional cuddle).  She finds the cutesy names given to her by her ‘captors’ had to stomach though.  “Snitchums” and “Snitchybum” are guaranteed to make her blood boil so are to be avoided, unless you want to see her take it out on Dervel.

She is cruel to Dervel, there’s no denying it.  It’s not that she dislikes him at all.  In fact (and don’t you dare tell him this) she is quite fond of the droopy eared little wally.  It’s just… well, as far as she’s concerned he’s asking for a lot of the grief that he gets.  He’s a wuss and a wally and he needs toughening up.

Smurt’s OK though.

In the book, Snitch has aspirations.  She dreams of lifting the crown as Queen of the Vermin Realm and the power it will bring: uninterrupted sleeps, commanding Dervel to slap himself repeatedly and an infinite supply of chocolate waffles.  The biggest problem is that she’s not in line for the throne.  She’s not royalty.  She’s not even close.  But why would something like having no legitimate claim to the throne stop a resourceful rat like Snitch?

So, if Snitch is going to try to take Queen Bronte’s throne, she’s going to need an army.  She’s going to need trusted soldiers.  She’s going to need someone a bit better than Dervel.  And she’s going to need a back-up plan in case it all goes wrong.

But then, rats like Snitch do plan for all eventualities.